


When is a thug not a thug?

by Cryingravens



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, Clint Feels, Clint Has Issues, Clint Needs a Hug, Clint is an ass, Explicit Language, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nervous!Clint is adorable, No Sex, Past Child Abuse, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Protective Natasha, SHIELD, Sexual Identity, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, transmisogynist language and attitudes, what's with me and handcuffs?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 01:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryingravens/pseuds/Cryingravens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has been terrorizing SHIELD long enough. His homophobic language and sexual harassment has to stop. How can Phil get it through his head that it isn't okay and make sure it doesn't happen any more? </p><p>Could be titled "Heart to hearts happen when you're handcuffed to a radiator"</p>
            </blockquote>





	When is a thug not a thug?

**Author's Note:**

> Child abuse/ child molestation is mentioned. Nothing graphic but here is the warning. If you think I need to tag it, send me a note or comment.

Clint Barton was thug. That was the only describing word Coulson could use to describe the asset. He was an amazing archer and one of the best at his job, but his off duty attitude needed a complete revamp. Phil looked over the thick disciplinary folder that the Agent had accrued and waited for the telltale fanfare that announced the assets arrival. Without fail the door was opened with a flurry of agents in the hallway yelling at the asset.

“You’re just mad cause I get more tail Sanchez!” Clint called out the doorway before he stepped into the office and shut the door.    
“Agent Coulson sir. What have I done that requires a lecture from you sir?”

Coulson motioned for Barton to sit before he set the folder on his desk and began to read from it.

“Agent Barton you are here because it has come to SHIELD’s attention that you are mocking your fellow agents. It has been reported that you are making derogatory remarks about several members sexual orientation.”

“If Childs can’t handle a joke he shouldn’t be a joke sir. Have you seen how he shoots? About as crooked as he is.”

“That is exactly the type of thing I am talking about. It has also come to my attention that while you are on shore leave you tend to go down to the pier and bring prostitutes back. This reflects poorly on the company ad needs to cease immediately.”

“You’re just mad you aren’t getting any.” Clint sneered.

Phil lifted his eyes from the folder; a deep frown settling on his face. “Do you find this funny Agent? These are some serious accusations you have been faced with. You have several counts of sexual harassment and another of bringing unauthorized peoples into this facility.”

“I never bring my ladies back here-”

“Anywhere you keep SHIELD technology is considered SHIELD property. As punishment you will be taking a mandatory sensitivity and sexual harassment seminar as well as having your shore privileges revoked for two months.”

Clint snorted and shifted back in his chair. “So, why are you telling me all this instead of Sitwell?”

“Director Fury believes you need a firmer hand. You are now one of my assets and let me inform you agent; I do not take your derogatory language and tone lightly. It is to cease and desist immediately.”

Clint’s jaw set and his eyes narrowed. “Is that all, Sir?”

Phil nodded and motioned for him to leave. “Report at 0800 for the start of your sensitivity training.”

“Sir, yes sir.” Clint said with a mocking salute from his lounged position in the chair. “Anything else sir?”

“I expect not to see anymore disciplinary forms with your name on them.”

“Of course sir. Wouldn’t dream of it sir.” Clint said mockingly as he stood from where he sat.

“Get out of my office.”

 ~@~

0900 hours came and Phil found Agent Kaine throwing open his door.

“He doesn’t even try to be non-offensive Coulson!”

“Amy, what are you-”

“That little fucker Barton!” The enraged agent said as she slammed the door shut. “He made a mockery of that training then on his way out said that he “puts the ass in assassin and if anyone has a problem they can address him directly without going to his damn handler like a stupid shit.” Coulson what he winked at me on his way out and called me doll. If you don’t want him drawn and quartered by ninety percent of the carrier, you should squash this now.”

Phil sighed deeply. “I will handle it. I am sorry he caused any issues.”

Coulson docked Clint’s range time and limited it to training hours only. That only seemed to fuel Clint’s fire as Coulson found three more complaints from women that Clint had blatantly asked them to let him “Fuck them so hard they forget their names.”

Phil froze Clint’s assets so any time he needed to purchase anything he had to have previous authorization from Phil. Barton responded by getting caught in the vents above the female locker room wold whistling at anyone he could see.

By the time the petty war ceased Barton was on complete and utter lock down and was only allowed out of his room when on mission or eating and Phil was at his wits end. To make matters worse Natasha had returned from her extended mission in London and expected something to do.

 Just like every other time she came back from a mission she simply showed up and dropped a folder on his desk.

“Sitwell’s mission is done. I need another mission” She said as she settled into her usual chair.

“Unfortunately there are no pending missions and I am very, very busy.”

“What is all that?” She said making a vague hand motion over all the papers.

“Agent Barton has been assigned to me and he insists on making himself a problem. I can’t take anything else away from him. There is LITERALLY nothing I can do about this and it irritates me unto no end.”

“The sexist one? I thought he was Sitwell’s problem. Why don’t you just have a woman knock him down a few pegs?”

“I thought about that, but he’s one of the best at hand to hand and only the tougher...” Phil suddenly looked up at Natasha. “My God, you could do it.”

“Is that my new “mission” sir? Knock his little shit into submission?” Natasha said with a smile.

“Yes, please Agent Romanov. If you could get him under some semblance of control I would appreciate it.”

“Mission Down-a-peg is a go sir.” She said as she stood and walked out. “Release the rabbit and I’ll give it a chase.”

Coulson smiled and sent an email to Barton allowing him down to the gym and all general areas of SHIELD. It took an hour for the Russian to find him. A half an hour for him to notice her and wolf whistle. Then fifteen minutes for him to pick his ass up off the floor and apologize to her.

The match was apparently the scariest thing to be seen around SHIELD in years. Clint left with a broken nose and shattered pride while Natasha left with a smirk. After that all of Clint’s interactions on the helicarrier were civil enough Coulson felt he could give back most his privileges.

Natasha took the chance to preen and Coulson let her. There was a seemingly unending supply of chocolate and vodka in her quarters that Coulson seemed to always miss when he did spot checks.

After a while Clint became friends with the wily Russian and the two took on joint missions that became legends around the base and allowed him to have his shore leave granted.

It took two weekends for Natasha to come in growling about how Clint had fallen into old habits.

“He’s buying prostitutes left and right and bringing them to that shitty motel on Clarence Ave.”

“So long as he-”

“He carries his phone, a bow, and all his credentials.” Natasha dead panned. “He’s also started on his homophobic rants again when he thinks I’m not around. Childs is afraid to bring it up after Clint made that shot in Devanahalli.”

Phil sighed, “Maybe we should catch him in the act and confront him?”

Natasha sighed. “I really would rather not see his junk.”

“If all goes well we will catch him before he gets that far.” Phil said.

 

~@~

It was Saturday when Natasha and Phil watched Clint stumble from his usual bar and sway his way towards the red light district. They were shocked to see Clint pass right by a rather attractive lady of the night and keep walking straight down to the Pier.  
 “He’s picking up transvestites at the Pier?!” Natasha snarled. “Mr. High and Mighty “I hate all fags” Clint Barton is picking up guys dressed as women?!?!”

“It would appear so.” Phil whispered.

The drunken archer walked his way up to a group of women and they all cat called and asked him where he had been.

“And apparently he’s a regular.” Phil said softly.

Clint smiled at them all and apparently made his choice. The two walked arm and arm towards the motel and Coulson shook his head. The two waited a moment before going into the hotel.  
 “We are here looking for a man and a woman that just came in. We need a duplicate key and the room number.”

The man began to argue, but Natasha “persuaded” and Phil flashed his ID.

When they opened the door the woman on the bed jumped and stubbed out her cigarette.

“Look, we’re friends and we paid for this here room. You ain’t got nothing on us.”

“Ma’am we are here for him not you. We need you to leave and there will be no trouble.”

“Mm-Hm. Yeah, I don’t think so. I need to see some ID.”

Coulson looked the prostitute over while Natasha made a quick motion towards the door. “Go.”

“Look bitch, I just said-”

Phil stepped forward and handed the woman some money; enough for an entire nights worth of work. “Pretend you never saw him.” He said with a smile, casting a harsh look at Natasha.

“You best not be here to kill him.” She said. “That Honey’s always at the pier and he’s good for business.”

The Russian swore and shook her head while Phil simply fixed the woman with a small dangerous smile.

“Have a nice night, Ma’am.”

“You’re sure a bunch a sweethearts. He’s drunk off his ass an one of the girls warned me he gets a bit.... rough when he’s drunk.”

“Don’t worry ma’am we will handle it. Thank you.” Coulson said evenly.

The woman nodded and stepped out.

“Operation Cold Wake up?” Natasha asked.

Coulson nodded and the assassin left the room. By the time she came back the shower had shut off and Clint’s loud and rather off-key singing could be heard coming towards the door.

Clint stumbled out naked save for a towel around his waist. “You ready for a good time baby?”

What he hadn’t expected was the bucket of ice water dumped over him. The archer gasped, but even though he was shocked by the cold he didn’t forget his training. He dropped and swung a leg (albeit a bit clumsily due to the alcohol). Natasha jumped his sloppy kick and knocked him cleanly to the floor with a push of her shoe. The red head swiftly grabbed his arm and cuffed him unceremoniously to the radiator without even breaking a sweat.

“That will do Natasha.” Phil said from the spot he had taken on the bed.

The Russian swore harshly under her breath but stalked to the corner of the room to observe.

“I do believe I explicitly told you not to do this kind of activity.” Phil said softly crossing his arms and looking down at Clint.

“Fuck you.” The dripping agent said spitting in Coulson’s direction.

“You picked up a prostitute and came to this seedy motel in order to have sex with her. I would also care to point out that she was not actually a biological female. I find it a bit humorous that you, a rather vehement homophobe, have been picking up transvestite women.”

“Like fuck they aren’t women!” CLint snarled as he jerked the hand chained to the radiator.

“Those are Natasha’s special handcuffs. No one has ever gotten free, but feel free to try. Also that particular lady was not all that convincing. She had five’ o’ clock shadow worse than I do after a long night of drinking with Sitwell and Hill. Isn’t that right?” Phil looked over his shoulder to the Russian who nodded wordlessly at him.

“I didn’ fuckin’ notice!” Clint spat as he braced his feet on the radiator and pulled.

“You didn’t notice? You’re a trained assassin. A sniper in fact and you are going to try to tell us you didn’t notice that any of the women you have picked up were transsexual? Even if you weren’t an assassin the dick that’s there when you pull up the skirt should be a dead give away.” Coulson said with a humorless laugh.

“Shut. The. FUCK. UP!” Clint bellowed as he tugged his arm hard enough to draw blood.

“Maybe he just needs a warm hole to stick his dick in. You really should have let me hit him in the head Phil. He’s worse than a raccoon in a trap.”

Phil sighed and looked at the Russian. “I can’t speak to a man with a concussion and expect him to remember what I said.”

“I don’t know his skull is pretty thick I’d have to hit him really hard to damage anything. Besides you could always talk to him once medical clears him.” Natasha said with a shrug.

Clint stopped struggling and shot her a glare.

“How do we convey that this is the opposite of every thing he has ever yelled about in SHIELD? Going down to the pier and picking up transwomen isn’t exactly what a straight man would do when he could find a lovely biological woman at a bar. He may not be gay, but he is at least bisexual. How do you think we could convey that huge glaring truth to him?” Coulson asked Natasha, acting as though Clint wasn’t even in the room.

“I’m not a fucking fag!”

“You will NOT use that word in a derogatory sense in my presence.” Coulson snapped as he stood.

“I am a man not some fucking-”

“I am a man too, but you have never once heard me say ANYTHING derogatory about someone else-”

“Well, there was Agent Murdock.” Natasha said softly.

“He accidentally almost killed me and six other people. Also not the point Natasha.I am a man. I have fought in battle after battle. I was an army ranger and a boy scout of America. I read comic books and I have a really, really nice car. However, I also happen to enjoy having sex with other men. That doesn’t mean I am any less of a man and the same goes for you.”

Clint froze and looked at Coulson. “You’re-”

“Yes Clint, I am a flaming fag. My family knows, SHIELD knows, and I don’t hide it. There is nothing wrong with me or with you. No one care who you love or who you fuck as long as it is consenting and legal. SHIELD wouldn’t have cared if you were in a committed relationship with a transwoman so long as you filled out the required paperwork. Instead you sneak around and bring SHIELD issued weapons and clothing into seedy motels to hook up with women that you condemn loudly and viscously.”

“It’s wrong! Men who do that shit are fucking perverts.”

“You were just about to do that “shit”. You know they are transvestites. Who are you trying to kid here? You haven’t fooled Coulson or I. That woman just said you were a regular Clint! The only person you are trying to kid is yourself.” Natasha spat.

“See you just said they were women!”

“Because that is how they want to identify, Clint!” She barked back.

“I’m not-” Clint said, tearing his eyes away from the two agents.

“Then why are you going to the pier? Why are you so afraid of just admitting-” Phil asked.

“If I’m gay I will be just like them.” Clint said softly.

Coulson and Natasha froze and stared at the agent.

“Who are “they” Clint?” Phil asked.

“All those fuckers from foster care.” Clint snarled pulling his arm harshly towards himself. “Those fucking fags that told us what they were doing was okay. It was never okay! They were assholes and we were stupid shits for letting them. I won’t ever let another fucking fag touch me again.”

Phil felt his stomach twist and suddenly everything slid into place.

“Clint....мой друг” Natasha said softly.

“I don’t want your fucking pity.” Clint said, his voice harsh.

“How could anyone pity one of the strongest and most dangerous men in the world?” Natasha said softly as she stepped forward.

“I’m going to unlock these, but you need to not take off.” Natasha said as she pulled out an odd looking key.

Once he was free he pushed her away from him and pulled his knees to his chest looking every ounce the scared child he had once been.

“What they did isn’t okay, Clint. What they did isn’t the same as two consenting adults engaging in sex. Those people prey on children and that is very different from being homosexual.” Phil said softly.

Clint rubbed at his wrist and looked the two of them over.

“No one will ever make you do that again, but you can’t verbally harass people who have done nothing wrong. They didn’t hurt you Clint, but you lashing out at them for being who they are hurts them and we can’t have that. The three of us need to go back to the helicarrier and I think you should see a counselor about these issues.”

“He should see Evan.” Natasha said.

Phil nodded. “I already had that in mind. I’ll set him up a consult. For now, Clint, we are all going back to headquarter and your shore leave is revoked until you receive clearance from Evan.”

“Who the fuck is Evan?” Clint said, his voice defensive but his demeanor frightened.

“Evan in a counselor. In response to your actions you will be signed up for mandatory counseling sessions.”

“I don’t need a fucking counselor.” Clint said.

“I did.” Natasha said softly. “After SHIELD took me in I needed help realizing things are different than Red Room. He can help Clint, if you just let him. It took me a while to see that.”

Clint looked at her and sighed. “Fine whatever.”

Coulson offered his hand to Clint to help him up, but Clint didn’t take it. Instead he ignored it and stood on his own.

“Fine, I’ll do whatever, but don’t expect any heart to fucking hearts from me.”

“Of course not.” Phil said.

~@~ Six Months Later ~@~

“You’re a shit shot, Montoya, but if you widen your stance you could get better.” Clint called over his shoulder.

“Aw, shut up. I’m a handgun kinda guy not this standing rifle shit.”

“Good thing you ain’t a sniper.” Clint said with a laugh as he stepped into Coulson’s office.

“Report for you, sir.” Clint said as he dropped the report on the desk and lounged in one of the chairs.

“Thank you agent.”

Clint sat for a while chewing on his inner lip and jiggling his foot until Phil looked up at him.

“Is there anything else I can help you with Agent?”

“I’m sorry.” Clint said softly, tearing his eyes away from Coulson. “When I got here I was kind of a dick to... well everyone and I get it now that I was a shit head. I’m sorry for it.”

Coulson smiled at Clint warmly. “Thank you for the apology. I accept it and Natasha did mention that you worked with Childs and you were completely civil.”

“Yeah, I apologized to him too. It took me a while to see how much of an ass I was.”

“I take it Evan was a good choice for you?”

Clint nodded. “He’s a cool guy.”

“He is. He helped me out when I was captured in Russia.”

Clint nodded and cleared his throat. “He said I should try to move past my issues and try to get a date. See how life can be good and make new memories to replace old ones and shit like that.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah. I told him there was this guy I liked.”

“Really? Is he a member of SHIELD?”

Clint nodded again. “And I know he likes guys, but I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my chances with him.”

“I wouldn’t count on that Clint. Maybe you should go out on a limb and try. You don’t know unless you try.”

“But, I mean, I would have to move at like, a snails pace. Like snails in slow motion stuck in molasses slow.” Clint said as he leaned back in the chair and stared at the ceiling.

“If you explained your situation to him I am sure he would agree and if he didn’t you shouldn’t be with him. People who can’t take a persons feelings into account have no business dating anyone.”

“What kind of shit do people even do on dates sir?”

“You could do dinner and a movie.” Coulson said as he focused on his paperwork once more. “Maybe if you want something more personal, but informal you could make dinner and rent a movie.”

“Sir, can I ask you something?”

Phil looked up again with a smile. “Of course. You can ask me anything.”

“Would you be willing to come to my place on base so I can cook for you? I know you might say it’s not okay since I’m you asset-”

“I would be honored Clint.” Phil said, his smile beaming.

“You get that I meant it was you that I-”

Phil laughed and shook his head. “I had gotten that, Clint.”

“Good....good. You aren’t allergic to anything right? I’m thinking of making Madame Maxime’s famous bake. It’s got chicken and garlic and-”

“I don’t have any allergies Clint. I am sure it will be absolutely wonderful.” Coulson said with a smile.

“Good. Yeah. I guess, maybe we could do it on Wednesday? Not do it do it, but-”

“See you at six on Wednesday, Clint.” Phil told the nervous archer. “I can’t wait.”

 

~@~ A year and a half later ~@~

 

“We had sex. Last night you penetrated me and we had sex. There is nothing wrong with that and there is nothing wrong with us.” Phil said as he pulled the sleeping archer close to his chest.

Clint stirred for a moment before sighing and whispering in the dark.

“Love you too, Phil.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am a comment/ Kudos monster! RAWR!!


End file.
